GIRL UNMASKED: Q&A
GIRL UNMASKED is officially out in the world (and somehow at number 7 on the Amazon bestseller chart!?). It is an incredibly surreal experience!
Last week I did a Q&A on my Instagram story, which I thought I would pop into a blog post.
Have you always wanted to write a book?
For as long as I can remember, I have always loved writing. I spent so much of my childhood writing ‘books’, especially when on holiday. My first novel length book was in year 6. I dreamt about being an author when I grew up. So the answer is YES, but I always thought I’d write fiction - never once did I imagine writing about myself!
What led to you writing GIRL UNMASKED?
I think that as a way of processing what I’d been through, I started to write about it. I was already blogging and had my twitter account, and I wanted to write a book!
“I never set out to write a memoir. I never saw myself as a very interesting person. I was never the child or teenager who everybody wanted to know…For the first chapter of my life, before the teenage desire to be liked really kicked in, I spent my days absorbed in other people’s stories and writing my own. Writing has been a coping mechanism of mine for as long as I have been able to write. I suppose that is how I found myself staring at pages after pages of my words, forming what appeared to be a memoir. I didn’t feel the need to tell the world about myself as such. (After all, I am not very interesting.) But it transpired that I was unable to get across what I wanted to say without telling the world about myself in the process. And there were a lot of things that I needed to tell the world. Because I felt like I had been failed, to some extent. And the more I found out others were being failed too, the angrier and sadder I became. I couldn’t just leave that be. I am the sort of person for whom that would be impossible.”
How long did it take you to finish the first draft?
I know this sounds really annoying, but my first draft took about 3 weeks. However, it was a lot shorter and very different! I hyper-focused, and did literally did nothing else other than write for 15 hours a day (which is not healthy!). My agent and I did some edits, then after getting my publishing deal, I completely rewrote the book. That probably took about 3-4 months of being in writing mode! Then we had a few rounds of edits, which took a few months each.
I started writing GIRL UNMASKED summer 2021 and it was finished last year (2023).
Was it hard to find an agent?
I’m really lucky that for GIRL UNMASKED, the answer to this is no. Cathy, the CEO of Autistic Girls Network, introduced me to Jessica, my lovely agent. I sent her my first draft and she offered me representation in December 2021. A year and a half before this, I queried a young adult fiction book. I probably sent that to 30 or 40 agents, and it was either rejected or didn’t get a reply, so I know it can be a very gruelling process!
May 18th 2022, when I met my publisher!
How did you find an agent and then a publisher?
My experience finding an agent was a bit different, as I explain above, but normally you ‘query’ different agents. You can find lots of information online about how to do this. Once I’d signed with Jessica, we spent a few months working on edits and then she sent it out to publishers. We looked at a couple of offers, but I was guided by Jessica and took her advice about what was best! On May 18th 2022, my Mum, Jessica and I went into London to meet Jake Lingwood at Octopus Publishing Group, and I signed a deal with them!
Did you design the cover/was it your idea?
Photo by The Book Nook, Bridgwater
No, the cover was designed by the brilliant Mel Four at Octopus Publishing Group. I got to see a few different designs, then chose which one I liked the most, and that was developed into this!
Do you have a favourite bit of the book?
Chapter 5 means a lot to me. It opens with a scene with me and my Grandfather on a beach. He passed away when I was 13. It felt really special to be able to write about him.
What age is GIRL UNMASKED appropriate for?
GIRL UNMASKED is a memoir about my life from the age of 8-18. It covers some difficult themes, like suicide and self-harm, but it doesn’t talk about any methods. It also includes my experience of OCD, panic attacks and being on a CAMHS inpatient unit.
Whether it will be suitable for a young person to read really depends on the young person. I tend to recommend ages 14/15+, but it depends on the individual, their triggers, and what they are going through. Parents may like to share lists or letters with their young people rather than the whole book.
Are there any trigger warnings to be aware of?
Ultimately, GIRL UNMASKED is a message of hope, but looking after yourself is the most important thing. There is this content warning at the start of the book:
A list of specific chapter triggers (spoilers for chapter content!):
chapter 7: self-harm
chapter 10: suicide
chapter 11: psych ward
chapter 15: depression
chapter 16: themes of sexual assault
What was the hardest part of writing GIRL UNMASKED?
Photo by Emma Fletcher Photography
I don’t know what THE hardest part was, but some of the hard parts were:
Deciding what I felt comfortable with including, then deciding how to write those difficult scenes and what I was comfortable with putting out into the world.
Making sure I did my best to respect other people’s privacy, like my family, friends and even strangers who feature in the book!
Getting the research bits right, especially when sources contradict each other! I overthought this so much as I wanted to get it as factually accurate as possible!
Finding quotes which are out of copyright to start each chapter with, or seeking permission to use people’s quotes was a lengthy process! Thank you so much to everyone who gave permission!
What was your writing routine like?
I didn’t really have a writing routine. The initial rough draft was the result of a 3 week hyper-fixation which wasn’t too healthy. When rewriting the book, I focused on it whilst off placement (I was a student mental health nurse then, and no writing happened during placement blocks!). I would block off a day at the weekend, but most of my writing took place on holiday as then I could hyperfocus for longer!
How was it to revisit traumatic experiences? Has it helped with healing further?
When I started writing GIRL UNMASKED in Summer 2021, I was still very much absorbed in everything that had happened. I wasn’t ‘revisiting’ it anymore than I already was in my own head day after day.
In 2023, during the editing process, it was harder as I was more detached from what had happened and moving on with my life. The concept of publishing a book started to feel more real and I started to worry more about what I wanted to share and what I didn’t. The editing process also means it’s not just you looking at it anymore - your editors are too!
Of course, there were certain scenes which I dwelled on. But I was already writing my blog, and I found writing helped me to process things, add meaning to it, link things together, and put a bit more distance between then and now.
So yes, I do think it has helped with healing. I almost feel like it’s written, it’s there, I can now leave those times behind, whilst knowing (or hoping) that sharing my story is helping someone else. Pain into purpose is something I have lived by for several years.
Something I didn’t envision was how writing GIRL UNMASKED would start conversations with my family and friends. We have spoken about things I’ve written about that we hadn’t spoken about before, and that has been quite healing.
Are you going to write a second book?
Photo by 21 and Sensory
I started writing a different book last summer, which was a teenage/YA fiction. I absolutely loved writing that, but whether anything would come of it, I don’t know! I had to stop writing it because I didn’t have time at that stage! I hope to go back to writing it later this year.
Would you ever consider writing a fiction book?
Yes definitely! Writing fiction is my favourite thing to write. I always thought I would write fiction. I actually queried a fiction book a year and a half before signing with Jessica for GIRL UNMASKED, though looking back, it needed a lot of work. I think that’s why I really enjoyed writing the parts in GIRL UNMASKED that read like a story - the first-person, present-tense sections!
Are you going to do a book signing?
I don’t have any booked at the moment, but stay tuned! Follow my Instagram and Twitter to be up to date with any future book signings.
Thank you so much to everyone who has read GIRL UNMASKED already, and thank you to everyone who has said such lovely things. I have received hundreds and hundreds of messages and emails over the past few days, and I can’t get back to everyone, but please know that I am very grateful for all of the support.
GIRL UNMASKED is available to order from Amazon and all major bookstores! https://linktr.ee/girlunmasked