How Social Media Can Influence Identity - from a Neurodivergent Lens
Today I recorded a webinar for Ambitious about Autism’s youth network on social media and identity from a neurodivergent lens. I learned a lot whilst prepping for it that I thought was worth sharing.
Many of us are aware that we spend a lot of time online. I got a phone when I was 10 and social media when I was 11. At the time, my parents didn’t even know what Instagram was - it was still all new to the world. Looking back, I can see how social media impacted my life as a teenager, in ways that I wasn’t able to recognise at the time. I think that there is value in exploring and reflecting on this, and thinking about how we approach these conversations with young people today.
What is Identity?
Identity refers to how we see ourselves and the unique factors that define who we are. It is our ‘sense of self’ and of who we are, shaped by various things like our experiences, interests, relationships, beliefs and values, culture and gender.
Erikson (1968) defined personal identity as the extent to which a person has adopted clear and consistent goals, beliefs, and values.
Identity development usually occurs throughout adolescence and early adulthood and is based on in-depth exploration of the things we like, believe and feel, and then commitment to those values, interests and beliefs (Crocetti, 2017).
Identity as an Autistic Person
As an autistic person, exploring your identity can be complicated by factors like:
Discovering your neurodivergence and what this means for you - I remember my view of myself being shaken and reformed following my diagnosis, as I started to learn about what being autistic and having ADHD meant for me, and how being neurodivergent had shaped my life.
Masking - and the process of unmasking. After my diagnosis, I remember not being sure what parts of me were me, when so much of me felt like parts I’d collected from other people in an effort to learn how to act appropriately and attempt to fit in among my peers.
Finding community - searching for people who accept you as who you are and who you feel your best self around is a journey.
Stigma and stereotypes - unlearning internalised stigma and moving beyond the fixed beliefs you may have had about what autism meant is another process that can affect identity.
Intersectionality - understanding how being autistic fits in with other marginalised identities that multiply-marginalised people have can make this process more complex. My experience as a white, cisgender autistic woman is going to be very different to a Black autistic person’s experience, or a transgender autistic person’s experience.
Ableism/discrimination - having to face ableism or discrimination may affect someone’s self-esteem or feelings of self-worth.
How does Social Media Influence Identity?
Researchers have identified that social media is a core setting in which adolescents construct their identity (Pérez-Torres, 2024). This is unsurprising considering the amount of time many teenagers spend on social media - Eurostat (2022) report that the most commonly reported time spent on social media for adolescents was 2-3 hours a day on school days and 6+ hours on non-school days. That is a LOT of time.
Social media influences identity development in various ways, for example through:
Comparison - providing insight into other people’s lives, allowing us to see how they look and what they do. This can increase discrepency between the actual self and the ideal self, where people compare someone else’s ideal self they see online to their own actual self.
Self-presentation - social media enables individuals to control how others perceive them to a certain extent, allowing a person to shape their identity online to one they want to portray.
Feedback - receiving both negative and positive feedback contributes to how an individual may feel about themselves.
Role models - social media allows us to find and follow role models, and for us to adopt or imitate their behaviours, whether consciously or unconsciously.
Increasing choice - the wealth of information and people to follow online gives us a limitless amount of choice of what to value in life and how to live (Martinac Dorčić et al., 2023).
Engagement in communities - enables developing of relationships that otherwise may not be established or developed (Gündüz, 2017)
Exposure to new ideas and beliefs - that we may not otherwise have come across.
Positives of Social Media
Research into the positives of social media shows a variety of benefits (Skafle et al. 2024). Though it is important to note that many of these research studies have small sample sizes, anecdotal evidence certainly speaks to some of these positives:
Provides an alternative way to socialise - which may benefit those who find face-to-face interactions difficult.
Increases understanding of self and neurodivergence - through accessing educational resources and following other neurodivergent people.
Enables exploration of autistic identity - through online spaces, groups and discussions.
Provides opportunities to build friendships - meeting those you may not have met otherwise.
Provides representation/role models - to look up to and follow.
Provides validation of experiences - and the realisation that you aren’t alone or the odd one out.
Can be a way of accessing support - through online spaces and signposting to support/resources.
Allows an individual to invest in their interests - through joining Discord servers about interests and connecting with others.
Enables individuals to feel connected with others - finding shared interests and sharing about these can provide sense of community.
I have certainly found some of these to be benefits of social media, particularly when I first found out I was autistic. I learned most of what I know about autism from others online. This helped me to build up a much stronger sense of self and understand myself better. I began to feel less alone because I saw others putting into words experiences that I’d had for so long but didn’t yet know how to describe.
Negatives of Social Media
Of course, social media also comes with its challenges, and it is so important for social media to be used safely and appropriately. Some of the possible negatives:
Cyberbullying - according to a report by the World Health Organisation, nearly 1 in 6 adolescents have experienced cyberbullying, and in the UK this is nearly 1 in 5 (BBC, 2024).
Negative impact on self-esteem - from comparison, negative feedback or cyberbullying/online harassment.
May exacerbate loneliness - from lack of connection in real-life and seeing others online appearing happier and surrounded by loved ones.
May provide inaccurate information - that can serve to perpetuate stigma or stereotypes.
Provides a means of constant comparison - affecting one’s sense of self-worth or view of their life.
Often does not reflect reality - a social media feed is curated by what people want you to see. Additionally, not everyone may see themselves reflected online or in others’ experiences, particularly those who are multiply marginalised.
Opens up possibility for constant peer pressure - from receiving endless messages or requests online and not being able to switch off.
Difficulty switching “off” - may feel pressure to respond immediately to others, reminders of what you’re missing out on, not being able to separate work/school and home due to seeing the same people online.
May impact real-life connections and interests - due to time spent online and dopamine seeking may make real-life seem less interesting, reduce time spent engaging in hobbies and may increase disconnection with people in real-life.
Summary
Social media can be a force for good, enabling advocacy, education and activism. It can allow the amplifying of lived experiences and building of communities (for example, through the #ActuallyAutistic hashtags), allow stereotypes to be challenged, enable autistic educators and creators to share information, drive change (e.g. campaigning for disabled rights), show the scale of need, and enable the sharing of petitions and crowdfunding.
Social media can be a helpful tool and a way of connecting with others, but it can also have a negative effect on our self-esteem and mental health, contributing to burnout.
Learning to manage our relationship with social media is essential to managing our well-being. In my next blog post I will share some ideas about how this can be achieved!
References:
BBC. (2024). Cyberbullying: One in six teenagers report harassment online. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-68667030
Crocetti, E. (2017). Identity formation in adolescence: the dynamic of forming and consolidating identity commitments. Child Development Perspectives, 11(2), 145-150. https://doi.org/10.1111/cdep.12226
Erikson, E. (1968). Identity: Youth and crisis. W.W. Norton & Company.
Eurostat. (2022). Individuals - frequency of internet use. https://ec.europa.eu/eurostat/databrowser/view/ISOC_CI_IFP_FU__custom_3414868/default/table?lang=en
Martinac Dorčić et al. (2023). Effects of social media social comparisons and identity processes on body image satisfaction in late adolesence. Europe’s Journal of Psychology, 19(2), 220-231. https://doi.org/10.5964/ejop.9885
Pérez-Torres, V. (2024). Social media: a digital social mirror for identity development during adolesence. Current Psychology, 43, 22170-22180. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-024-05980-z
Skafle et al. (2024). Social media shaping autism perception and identity. Autism, 28(10). https://doi.org/10.1177/13623613241230454
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