There is a Life After Rock Bottom
‘We are unable to identify any protective factors for Emily’
‘While she is an intelligent and articulate girl, a high achiever and well-liked by friends, she is unable to acknowledge these qualities in herself as she has very low self-esteem’
‘We are afraid that in light of Emily’s current risks it will be a challenge to manage her in the community at this time’
‘Emerging EUPD, OCD, too unwell to return to school, high risk pathway, risk of repeated admissions’
- written in my mental health notes between 2017-2019
There is a life AFTER rock bottom. I wish I could have known that there was a life waiting for me away from feeling ‘stuck’ in the system. Away from assumptions. Away from ‘she has EUPD’ and ‘at risk of repeated admissions’ and away from being a name on different pathways and CETRS and mental health assessments and ward rounds. I was a distressed, anxious undiagnosed autistic young person with ADHD, and this happened to be my rock bottom.
It’s always okay to need support, but I feel so lucky to not have gotten stuck in the cycle of admissions. I was lucky my autism was recognised when it was, as that diagnosis stopped me being readmitted to hospital. I was lucky to have had help from some wonderful mental health professionals. I was lucky to have had my family’s unwavering support. I was lucky to have had the chance to see that I wasn’t the awful person I believed myself to be and to see that my assumption that I didn’t have a future was wrong. Everybody deserves that chance.
If it wasn’t for those things, I wouldn’t have been able to fight like hell to move forwards. But I could. I went back to school and sat 2 A-Level’s, achieving A*s despite my 29.6% attendance. I started university three weeks after being on a section. I made it through a nursing degree during a pandemic. I became a Trustee for Autistic Girls Network. I spoke to organisations and advocated for change. I qualified as a mental health nurse. I went on holidays, met my boyfriend and lived my life. I published a book about my experience. It became a Sunday Times Bestseller. And the paperback is out now.
I won’t talk about this forever. This is a chapter of my life that is in the past. It’s emotional and hard to look back on. But I’m so grateful to be here. And I hope, beyond hope, that less undiagnosed autistic people will find themselves at rock bottom, that less will be admitted to mental health units, that less will go through this journey. And that more will be able to see the life that exists away from depression and admissions. A life filled with adventures and laughter and love.
You can get your copy of Girl Unmasked here.
Thank you, as always, for all of the support.
Love, Emily x
GIRL UNMASKED (The Sunday Times Bestseller) is available to order from Amazon and all major bookstores as a hardback, paperback, audiobook and ebook.
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