This week (11th - 15th November) is anti-bullying week, which takes place every year. Considering that approximately 30% of children are bullied each year, with 1 child in every classroom experiencing bullying every day, it is so important to raise awareness of it, as well as to learn how to prevent and respond to it.

Bullying can have a significant effect on a child’s life, with effects lasting well into adulthood. I know this all too well - the words and actions of other children from over a decade ago still affect my self-esteem and my emotions today. Unfortunately, autistic children are more likely to be bullied, with 75% reporting having been bullied in a survey by Ambitious about Autism.

“Somehow, my peers seemed to know as young as the age of seven or eight that I was different to them. Kids should be the ones in charge of autism assessments - or at least deciding who should be referred for one - because they sniff us out a mile away and they don’t hesitate in letting us know that we are different.
It is sadly very common for autistic children to be bullied and left out by their peers. We stand out, for whatever reason. I don’t know why children seem to pick on those who appear different to them, but they do. ”

— Emily Katy - 'Girl Unmasked: How Uncovering My Autism Saved My Life'

Autistic adults are also more vulnerable to bullying in the workplace, as well as from peers. A 2016 report by the National Autistic Society found that 48% autistic people experienced bullying or harassment at work (how is it any wonder that only 30% of autistic people are in employment when this is our experience?). Not only that, but half of autistic adults have been abused by somebody who they thought was their friend.

“I think most autistic people have found themselves a victim of bullying at some point in their lives, because we don’t always conform to the majority, we don’t always understand social cues and people like to make a joke out of us. Because they think it’s funny, or it makes some twisted part of themselves feel good. But none of that is a reflection on us, just on them.”

— Emily Katy, 'Girl Unmasked: How Uncovering My Autism Saved My Life'

I know this sounds rather pessimistic. And it is truly terrible that autistic people continue to experience such treatment in 2024, even more so for multiply marginalised autistic people who also face racism, homophobia, transphobia and other forms of abuse and discrimination.

But I would like you to know that there is hope. There are communities of autistic people supporting and uplifting one another, parents who now understand why their child is different and can do their best to advocate for them, and charities like Anti-Bullying Alliance which (amongst others) offer support and advice to those who need it. I truly believe that knowledge is power. Knowing that I am autistic and therefore able to recognise some of my vulnerabilities, being able to reflect on past experiences and recognise the bullying for what it was, and being able to connect with people who have been through similar helps me.

If you have been bullied, here are some things I would like you to know (from my list on page 44 in Girl Unmasked).

It wasn’t your fault
You don’t deserve what happened to you
If you didn’t tell anyone, that doesn’t mean it was any less real
It’s okay to tell someone now, even if it’s years later
It’s okay if what was said and done to you still affects you now
It’s okay if you still feel hurt and angry
Bullying is recognised as a cause of trauma
You are not a bad person
You are loved

There is lots of information on Anti-Bullying Alliance’s (including a great guide for schools and other educational settings on bullying and autism) and NSPCC’s website, including details about how to access support.

Remember that YOU MATTER and YOU ARE LOVED.

References/Resources

Ambitious about Autism. Bullying. https://www.ambitiousaboutautism.org.uk/understanding-autism/education/bullying

Anti-Bullying Alliance. Anti-bullying week: what is it and what does it achieve? https://anti-bullyingalliance.org.uk/sites/default/files/uploads/attachments/Anti-Bullying%20Week%20-%20what%20is%20it%20and%20what%20does%20it%20achieve%20document_2023%20FINAL.pdf

Department for Work and Pensions. (2024). The Buckland Review of autism employment: report and recommendations. https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/the-buckland-review-of-autism-employment-report-and-recommendations/the-buckland-review-of-autism-employment-report-and-recommendations?campaignkw=Buckland%20Review%20Recommendations

McVeigh, T. (2014, Jun 14). Half of autistic adults ‘abused by someone they trusted as a friend’. The Guardian. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/jun/14/autistic-adults-abused-by-friends-survey

National Autistic Society. Dealing with bullying - a guide for autistic adults. https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/bullying/bullying/autistic-adults

National Autistic Society. Dealing with bullying - a guide for parents and carers. https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/bullying/bullying/parents

NSPCC. (2024). Anti-Bullying Week 2024 resources. https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/safeguarding-child-protection/anti-bullying-resources