My Journey of Discovering My ADHD
My journey of discovering my ADHD has been very different to my autism one (which you can read about here). Although there have been moments of imposter syndrome, from the moment I was told that I was autistic aged sixteen, I knew that the diagnosis was correct. And I knew…
Book Announcement - ‘Girl Unmasked: How Uncovering My Autism Saved My Life’
I can’t believe I am FINALLY able to share this (believe me, it’s been a secret for a long time!!!). My book ‘Girl Unmasked: How Uncovering My Autism Saved My Life’ is out 28th March 2024 and is available NOW to pre-order!! Link here.
I feel like I’m dreaming. I spent most of my childhood with my head…
Grief after Pet Loss: Losing Coco
My dog, Coco, died on the 9th October. He was six and a half and the centre of my family’s home and life. He loved absolutely everyone and he was so incredibly loved.
I don’t usually write blog posts like this, but I don’t know how to process this, and writing has always been my outlet. Telling…
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - by someone with OCD
My first memory of OCD is of eight-year-old me, consumed by the worry that I was going to catch nits. I worried about it all day every day, for weeks at a time. I wouldn’t want to go near other people, tried hard to stop my clothes from touching anyone else’s, and would spend excessive amounts of time looking through my hair. Of course…
Autistic Pride
Today, Sunday 18th June, is Autistic Pride Day 2023. This is a day which was started by, and is still led by, autistic people to celebrate autistic people.
This year’s theme is ‘Transforming the Narrative’. Whilst it is…
Constantly Confused - Life as an Autistic Person
Being autistic in this world can result in feeling constantly confused. Let’s talk about what that can be like.
This confusion is present in many parts of my daily life. Mainly when interacting with other people, which is something which tends to be unavoidable, of course…
Autistic Masking
Masking is a survival strategy for many autistic people. Let’s talk about it.
Whenever the topic of masking comes up, there is usually the reply, "But doesn't everyone mask to some degree?". And yes, most people do put on a mask at work or when…
The War In My Mind: Fighting Anxiety
Anxiety is not just an emotion for me. It's a daily state of being. It's a feeling that lives within me that I can't quite describe. It never goes away. I don't know what life is like without anxiety as a companion. I don't know what it's like to not be at war with my mind.
Why Autistic People Can Struggle With Instructions
Being given an instruction instantly doubles my anxiety level. It doesn’t matter what it is. It could be really simple. The simple act of my brain registering that an instruction has been given to me and then having to process this is a BIG deal. To begin with…
Autism and Anxiety
You know that feeling where your racing heart-rate won’t slow down, your face feels sweaty and your insides are churning? Where your thoughts are spinning around your head in endless circles? Where you feel dread and complete nausea from everything? I live with that every day.
Anxiety isn’t intrinsic to autism. Not all autistic people even experience anxiety, but…
Growing Up With Undiagnosed Autism
I spent nearly 17 years of my life with no idea that I had a completely different neurotype to the majority of people around me. I thought my brain was ‘typical’. After all, I seemed to blend in with my peers.
Growing up undiagnosed meant that I had to hide the fact I found a lot of things difficult, because I thought it was my fault that…
Sensory Overload and Over-Stimulation
Although I KNOW that I experience sensory stimuli differently to a lot of people, I can’t comprehend how anyone else possibly experiences it differently.
Like, how does anybody focus on the task at hand when there is a beeping noise going on outside? How does anyone…
Things I Love About My Autism
1. Autistic joy. When I am captivated by joy and nothing else. It’s pure, it’s unfiltered and it’s wonderful.
2. My strong sense of justice. Other people often don’t seem to care when things are unfair. I do and I try to do what I can to change this.
Autistic Vulnerability - Am I More Vulnerable Because of My Autism?
I fundamentally believe that as a result of being autistic, I am a lot more vulnerable than if I wasn’t autistic.
I have heard some autistic people voice that saying we are vulnerable is a bad thing. I understand why. I think that there is a valid danger of non-autistic people seeing…
Why Do So Many Autistic Girls and Autistic Women Go Undiagnosed?
Before we dive into the reasons why so many autistic girls and women go undiagnosed, we need to acknowledge that for many of the same reasons, autistic non-binary people, trans women and anyone who is not cis male often go undiagnosed. Gender bias in autism affects more people than…
Am I Being Rude or Is My Autism Not Being Understood and Accommodated For?
Autistic people are often told that they are being rude. In my experience, this is often from people who don’t know that I am autistic, or those who do but who think that autism isn’t an ‘excuse’ for ‘rudeness’.
So, what exactly IS this so-called rudeness?
Feeling Ashamed of ‘The Autistic Side of Me’
I guess I have this deep-rooted fear that allowing people to see the ‘autistic side of me’ will make them run away. I try not to be ‘too much’, to not get ‘too excited’, to not shut-down or melt-down or pretend I’m not overwhelmed.
I remember what it felt like to be eight and be laughed at for…
What School Was Like as an (Undiagnosed) Autistic
School began as a sanctuary, a safe space. 5-year-old me loved the classroom, all the new books I was being introduced to, the stories I heard and the new things I was learning. I couldn’t believe my luck, that I could go to school every day and learn such fascinating things.
25 Things That I Wish I Had Known As An (Undiagnosed) Autistic Child
1. That when a teacher instructs you to “write as much as you can”, they don’t mean this literally. You don’t have to turn in 30 double sided pieces of A4. You can write two sides like everyone else.
2. Similarly, when a teacher tells you to “wait outside”, they don’t actually mean outside the building. They mean…
What I Would Say To My Undiagnosed Autistic Self
To my undiagnosed autistic self…
I would love to tell you that you are autistic, because knowing that about yourself would take so much of your guilt and shame away. Unfortunately you won’t know that for years, so for now I will tell you these things instead.